hello.
i can't help but feel angry. In these few weeks, often i find myself ranting and complaining about people: i go on a verbal vomit about people i can't stand, i snap at people who piss me off... i don't hold my tongue. and i am getting used to saying nasty things. usually the people at navy (people who are usually there to listen to my rambles) laugh at me when i go into these moods. i guess they think i look or sound funny. but for myself, i know that i have allowed myself to not discipline my tongue.

it sounds a bit anal. but my christian faith has taught me to control what you say - it creates an atmosphere. what we say has power. i mean, God created this world just by the word. every one of us are empowered to make the atmosphere cheerful or frustrating.

peer's influence? maybe so.. i don't know la. they say what you say is usually influenced by what is in your heart. maybe i am unhappy. if that is so, i don't know what am unhappy about. i can't put a picture on it and its just this invisible unnerving irritation.

feeling pissed off feels good though. i admit it feels nice to convince that some person is really an asshole and deserves to die. it feels good to know that someone thinks the same as you and is helping you share the load of anger/irritation. but then after all the complaints has settled down, you just feel angrier really. and want to do some more verbal damage.

hungryyy man wants to feel angrier.
and wants to be alone.

but it seems wherever i go now, there is always some person
and i am never really by myself. from work to home. and that,
makes annoyed and angry and i end up lashing or complaining.

not very healthy.

i have become very possessive too. i am jealous.